Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Cake, bread and carbs of any kind...



I have this dilemma with body obsession. You know, obsessed about my weight. Just last week I felt ok with my weight. This week, a whole different story. I swear I've gained 5 pounds and I get super aggravated and into self loathing. I wish I could accept myself when I'm not thin. I see women much larger than me happily going about their lives. I'm almost 50 for godsakes, I seem to think I'm supposed to have the body of a 25 year old. I love cake. Bread and pasta are comforting too. As soon as I introduce these back into my diet I'm on a roll....more please.
I'm so influenced by the "thin" look that even when painting this nude, which was based on an ancient Roman painting, I shaved off a few pounds around the middle to make her more...acceptable?
I'm also noticing I mader her breasts bigger than the original. Once more influenced by the modern version of the perfect woman. She's still heavy by todays standards. That's just weird.

2 comments:

julie king said...

they say that all things come back around eventually (fashion trends, music, etc.) so i'm anxiously awaiting the day that heavier women will be back in vogue. i'll be right in style! i vacillate between "you only live once so eat and enjoy" and "be super good to your body and stay thin". i know there's a balance in there somewhere.

femme hesse said...

You are so right about the whole "balance" thing. Still looking for that place...