I've made a commitment to post here every Thursday, and so here I am.
Picking up where I left off last week, or maybe jumping ahead in my journey...we'll see :)
The scary thing about the internet is we can all be publishers without an editor. Powerfully crazy!
Okie dokie now, I'm searching my memory and wondering which information is relevant and how detailed I should be in my disclosure. As I said in my previous post, I was rather discontented from birth and on into my teens. "Restless, irritable and discontent" to quote a well known book...
I did my share of "partying" so to speak. Starting in my pre-teens, I looked for outside artificial sources to make me feel better. Rebellious wild child!
At this point I'm pausing, still a little hesitant to provide too much information. I'm not so worried about offending anyone, it's just that I wonder how much is too much. At the risk of being completely transparent and tarnishing any glowing image you may have of me, here goes...I became pregnant at 16 and gave birth to a daughter who was immediately given up for adoption. That was 35 years ago. I won't go into the details of that, not right now...
I married at 17, had a son at 19, separated from my husband 6 months after my son was born.
So as not to overwhelm you, I'll close for now. Don't worry, it gets worse before it gets better :)
I wrote a song awhile ago regarding my past. Here are some of the lyrics:
See there's this girl and she's afraid to tell you...the many, many things she's done.
Yeah she thinks you may not approve of her past and you may want to turn and run.
If you choose to scrutinize her, you'll be disappointed for sure. Or can you love her for....who she really is?
Until next week...Peace and Love,
Susan
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Authentic Thursday week 2
Posted by femme hesse at 8:50 PM 3 comments
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Authentic Thursday
Blogging is a weird and tricky thing. Especially when you're not a journalist or even a writer. Why do I do it?
I think I started a blog so I could comment on other blogs, I needed a profile. Also, I was trying to create a separate identity from my painter/artist identity.
I chose a slightly unusual name "Femme Hesse". What does that mean? I made it up. I'm a big fan of Hermann Hesse and I'm female...so there you go. The title of this blog is "Naked Mind" a term I took from one of his books which describes a state of being...
When it came to separating myself from my art, I quickly caved and started showing my art here because it's easier to post a photo than to write something interesting and meaningful, at least for me!
I've titled this post "Authentic Thursday" which is something I intend to do on every Thursday, attempt to share something of myself in an authentic way...we'll see :)
If you notice over on the right is my profile which states "Life, art, spirituality, death." Those are the topics I had planned to write about when I started blogging, and I'm going to start doing exactly that. At least on Thursdays.
So let's get this show on the road! Starting with "spirituality" have I told you about my conversation with God? Probably not. And I won't be sharing that with you today because it would be best to lead up to that story with a little background history of my journey...
Please bear with me for a few weeks as I drag you through my early years. I willl eventually get more up to date with my sharing.
I was baptized Catholic as an infant, and raised by an atheist mother...isn't that quirky? Catechism on Tuesdays was my only exposure to the Catholic religion. My mom wanted us to have some religion, though she was turned off by the whole thing...
Ok, enough of that for now...let me tell you about my skin color. As a kid I had tons of freckles. My dad is from Irish/Scottish descent and I inherited his complexion. My mom, on the other hand, is Portuguese and has an olive complexion. I always wanted to be brown. I was a very discontented child.
I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12 or so. Oh and by the way, I was ALWAYS boy crazy!
Backtracking a bit...when I was 6 we moved to a community in San Diego called "Princess Gardens". It was a new housing tract.
It hardly looked like a garden, though it did have a natural beauty with the canyons and the hills all around it. Gradually the homeowners began landscaping and beautifying their property. My mom, well she tried. She planted ivy in the front yard. I don’t think it “took” if you know what I mean. The weeds tended to take over everything. We would spend our Saturdays watering the ground to soften it so we could pull the weeds. The only thing that survived in that soil was a goofy pine tree. It grew really tall as if to say, “you weeds can’t keep me down!"
Well, that will be all for this week...though I will share something from Hesse:
"Every man is more than just himself; he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world's phenomena intersect, only once in this way, and never again. "
Hermann Hesse
eir darkness, their suffering or fears, but a drop of pure light, eternal cheerfulness...
Posted by femme hesse at 10:03 AM 4 comments
Labels: Authentic self, Hesse
Friday, November 5, 2010
2011...almost
As you may have noticed, I'm offering 2011 poster calendars below...in connection with these calendars, I'm having a drawing!
With every calendar you purchase, your name automatically gets entered to win one of the 4 paintings above.
1 calendar=1 entry,
2 calendars=2 entries...and so on :)
This drawing will close on December 15, 2010
Peace and Love,
Susan
Posted by femme hesse at 7:43 PM 2 comments
2011...almost
It's looking as though my website should be finished by the end of November...cool!
In the meanwhile, I want to present a timely offer to those who may be interested.
I'm offering signed, limited edition poster/ collage calendars for 2011!
The cost for 1 poster calendar is $27. with free shipping.
Peace and Love,
Susan
Posted by femme hesse at 7:19 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
friends
So I had one of the most excellent experiences I've had in a long time. I reconnected with my friend Debbie! We were so close as teenagers, and haven't been in touch in over 26 years!!! It was a magical experience to be able to speak with her and catch up after all these years...I love her :)
Speaking of friends, I want to send you to my friend Ilyse's website. She sells the most exquisite soy candles you have ever seen or smelled! I've included some images...and of course I still don't know how to create a link in the body of this post so I'll just have to type in the address and hope for the best....
http://www.aglowcandles.com/index.html
Like me, she's still in the process of having a new ecommerce site built, so if you want to shop, please visit her facebook page.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Aglow-Eco-Living/177376977256?ref=ts
If anyone would be so kind as to advise me how to post links, that would be fantastic!
Peace and Love,
Susan
Posted by femme hesse at 10:11 PM 4 comments
Labels: aglow, soy candles